Celebrity Addiction as a Spectator Sport

Addiction has become a spectator sport. I’m not a big fan of that.

Our culture’s fascination, make that obsession, with celebrity and notoriety has, perhaps, become an addiction as well, and we want more, more, more.

More gossip, more dirt, more photos. As our tech capabilities expand, so do our appetites. Our society’s collective and compulsive hunger requires cannibalistic feeding on the bloody mess our so-called idols and stars have made of their lives.

We want this so badly that we turn murder supects into overnight celebrities, devoting hours and days and months of coverage to them--especially if they are young, attractive, white women who are charged with killing their children. We want this so badly that we lap up derogatory and a disrespectful monikers like "Octomom."

For some of us, in fact for many of us, journalism was once a noble profession. Right now (thank you so very much News Corp), journalists are in the news, breaking laws in order to break a story. Lurking, snooping, following and general sneakiness have become the order of the day. We put celebrities on pedestals and somehow expect them to stay there as, paradoxically, we wait like vultures for the day of their demise.

Mel is drunk and bigoted. Lindsay is in and out of rehab and jail. She may or may not be a klepto. Charlie is likely an addict, more than likely since he denies it.

Even though these folks and so many others are attractive and talented, should their foibles really be a source of amusement for us? Should we be ready to pounce on every little scandalous morsel? Do we need to get a life and let them live theirs?

If you believe in the disease theory of addiction and I, for one, do, then you recognize that addicts are sick. Even knowing this I have, more than once, allowed myself to be entertained by the times they’ve made public spectacles of themselves. Why did Lindsay wear that short little white dress to court? Did Elin really chase Tiger with a golf club? Will someone please give Nicole Richie a sandwich?

Shame on me. I can’t say I’ve been thoroughly entertained by what I’ve seen on TMZ or in US Weekly, but I admit I’ve been sucked in.

Regarding Amy: How many times in the last 48 hours has someone said, “It was only a matter of time.” And still, we can’t believe it. She clearly was on an extremely self-destructive path. Talented, beautiful, brilliant and SICK. Who really knows why? It defies explanation. That is why addiction is known as a “cunning, baffling and powerful disease.” It is progressive in nature and catches us off guard. It doesn't care if you are smart or wealthy or famous. It is a thief, stealing wives from husbands, fathers from children, professionals from careers, robbing its victims of every last shred of dignity.

Maybe we expected Amy to die. Someday. Not Saturday. The illness had her in its grips and she needed more and more and more to feed the beast. We wanted more of her as well. More of that voice, more of those songs, more performances, more Amy. She couldn’t give us any more, because the disease had taken it all. Her addiction to drugs and our addiction to celebrity finally swallowed her alive.

She didn’t live in peace. She didn’t die in peace. Can we let Amy rest in peace?

What Boob Came Up With Nursing Doll?

Adjust your bra straps, parents. “Breast Milk Baby” is on the way. This 21st-century answer to Betsy Wetsy makes its US debut later this month at a toy industry trade show in Las Vegas.

BMB is a baby doll that simulates breastfeeding when its pretend mommy—i.e. our daughters and granddaughters, nieces and little sisters—clutches it to her chest. According to ABC News, “The doll, which comes with a special halter top with two flowers positioned where nipples would be, makes suckling sounds when its mouth is brought close to sensors embedded in the flowers.”

Seriously? Flowers where nipples would be? That getup sounds suspiciously stripper-like. No wonder they’re debuting in Vegas. What’s next, junior memberships in the La Leche League?

BMB is made in Spain. Did someone forget to do the market research here in the USA? Don’t they know that Americans are still freaked out when a woman breastfeeds in public? Yep, we’ve got plenty of porn and strip clubs and Hooters, but God forbid a woman feed her baby on the subway.

Even though I am a “breast is best” proponent from way back, I believe breastfeeding is a matter of personal choice. Some women do, some don’t. That’s their business. I nursed my son for 10 months, my daughter for 16, and I still have dreams about breastfeeding and driving at the same time. (There actually was a news story a couple of years ago about a woman who got pulled over by the police for this, but I swear I never did it in real life.)

Kids have great imaginations and lots of their play is in imitation of grown up behavior. They’ll pick up the TV remote and call it a cell phone… or turn a big cardboard box into a rocket ship… or shoot you with a banana gun… or play doctor… It’s just what they do. Toy makers take their cues, often with sexist results, from children’s desire to imitate grownups,—kitchen sets and Easy-Bake Ovens for girls, construction tools and Tonka trucks for boys.

I’m sure lots of girls over the years, and even some boys, have pretended to nurse their baby dolls—and bottle feed them, for that matter--because it mimics what Moms do. I see nothing wrong with that, but we don’t need a specialty doll to push it, either. Check out the manufacturer's website and you'll see that there are also accessories to go with the doll, including a cradle, a breastfeeding pillow and a toy breast pump. A toy breast pump?! Why not throw in breast pads, a nursing bra and some lanolin for sore nipples while they're at it? To the company's credit, they do make both boy and girl BMBs, as well as light and dark skinned babies.

“Even pediatricians, child development specialists and toy experts can't agree on whether the doll would be healthy for young girls,” reports ABC News.

One could argue that because breastfeeding is healthy and oh-so-natural, there is nothing wrong with children emulating this form of maternal nourishment. I see two major issues here. First, breasts are not toys. Granted, there are adult situations where they may be considered toys, but that’s clearly not what we’re talking about here. Second, we, as a society are doing everything in our might to turn our children into little adults. They are not just miniature versions of us, despite wearing mature, skimpy clothes, listening to sexualized music and playing violent video games.

I want to be clear: I don’t think BMB is about sexualizing girls, per se, because breastfeeding is not sexual. It is nourishment and nurture. But this doll does raise questions about gender roles. Of course it does, you say, men cannot breastfeed. Not yet, anyway, but you know some mad scientist somewhere is working on it.

Girls need to know there’s a lot of life to be lived between being someone’s daughter and becoming someone’s mother (if that’s what they choose), and that it has a whole lot more to do with what’s in their heads and the size of their hearts than in the functionality or size of their breasts.