Mary Novaria

  Before COVID-19 made Zoom get-togethers  de rigueur,  I met one of my best friends in an online writers’ workshop. I’d cautioned my teenage daughter to be wary of online friendships when she’d first shown an interest in Facebook, but I had to backtrack on my warnings when “Samantha” came into my life. Despite our 10-year age gap and a geographic divide that spanned the continental United States, Samantha and I clicked right away as we shared our writing, swapped page critiques and championed each other’s work. Before long, we dove into deep, personal territory, exchanging confidences and commiserations along with dinner recipes and designer finds from Home Goods. Over the course of more than seven years, we cheered each other on through writing successes and family milestones like graduations and weddings. We bolstered each other through parental deaths, household moves and surgeries, shared celebrations and heartbreaks, vicarious travel and, well, life. How many times ...

The funny thing is, it really doesn’t feel like we’ve never met; technology provides us with a virtual kitchen table we can gather around any time we like. When my daughter was in high school, she struck up a friendship with a girl on the East Coast—a friend of a friend—and they spent hours a day chatting online and texting on their cellphones. Since we didn’t know this girl or her parents, I wasn’t comfortable with the arrangement, but seeing her on Skype at least assured me she was, in fact, a teenage girl and not some Internet predator. Still, I didn’t understand how my teen could have such a close bond with someone she hadn’t met in “real life.” I just didn’t get how they could be so important to one another.   Sure I spent time talking long-distance to my besties on the phone, but I actually knew them. We’d traveled together, shared meals, beach walks and hot tubs, and laughed and cried over tea or wine at each other’s kitchen tables. Later we’d attend our kid...

This piece first appeared in the Huffington Post. (Posted 10/22/2014)  I am the cyber equivalent of the lady who's rescued too many cats, collected too many tchotchkes and saved years worth of newspapers and magazines. That's right. I am an email hoarder. I love my technology. I just don't know how to tame it, and most of what I'm getting is from virtual strangers -- literally and figuratively -- and these strangers aren't sexy and intriguing like Scarlett Johansson in  Her . While a 2011 study  (Frost, Steketee and Tolin ) found 18 percent of hoarders actually have OCD -- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- I believe mine is caused by FOMO -- Fear Of Missing Out. What if I miss a two-for-one offer on pears or chocolate covered strawberries... or the chance to win dinner with the President if I donate today... or worse, the latest celebrity breakup? My email got this way because I can't say no. Sign up for our newsletter? Sure! Receiv...