Protect a Predator and a College Football Program Instead of a Child? Shameful.

All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing. –Edmund Burke

On the campus of a major university, in the locker room of a revered football coach, a colleague harmed vulnerable children in the worst way and, for a long time, got away with it. We are shocked. We are speechless…

Sadly, there are people out there who are sick in a way that compels them to prey on the young and vulnerable. Others are sick in a way that causes them to shirk their responsibilities, disregard the rules, and cover for the offenders. Secrets keep us sick.

Penn State’s Board of Trustees made a voluminous statement in its immediate dismissal of Joe Paterno and the school’s president. Educators, if I’m not mistaken, are mandated reporters. Legalities aside, adults have a moral obligation to speak up when children are sexually abused. Whether it’s your spouse, your coworker, your priest, your doctor or your coach, there should be zero tolerance for silence. We must speak for those who are too vulnerable to speak for themselves. It is outrageously wrong to give these crimes a nudge, nudge, wink, wink and to look the other way.

If ever there was a situation that demonstrates the out-of-proportionality of college sports, it is happening this week in State College, Pa. Penn State students are rioting over the firing of their beloved football coach. They should be outraged by the crimes (and sins) against children on their college campus. Instead they are supporting a man who, yes, has been synonymous with their school, but has now severely tarnished its reputation, credibility and status.

It is extremely troubling that these students have such misplaced priorities. What are we teaching our youth when a man who looked the other way while boys were being violated is revered? Instead, his behavior should be reviled.

Cheers to Thelma & Louise, Lucy & Ethel, Girlfriends, Sisters, Cousins Everywhere!

Kristen and I jumped into the rental car at Maui’s Kahului Airport. Primed for adventure, sunshine and Mai Tais, we were Thelma and Louise. Okay, so Brad Pitt didn’t tag along and our Alamo rental may not have been a ’66 T-bird, but at least it wasn’t a minivan.

While the iconic characters, played by Susan Sarandon and Gina Davis, had some significant legal troubles, the closest my cousin and I came to breaking the law was meandering off the trail in the Iao Valley State Park in search of a promised but elusive waterfall. Who could blame us? This was an escape, after all, a brief respite from daily pressures of work and family and, for Kristen, the looming cold, snow and darkness promised by another Alaskan winter. We needed to bank some serious Vitamin D.

One way to stay a step ahead of the law is to not drink and drive. That means grilled fish and frothy blended piña coladas at the condo… or a walk on the beach to happy hour and dinner. The sunsets are spectacular and, later, the stars speckle the sky like a zillion diamonds… but not enough to light the way home, mind you. It would be an exaggeration to say we actually got “lost” on the beach; we knew where we were. We just couldn’t find the unlighted public access in the dark, even with the flashlight apps on Kristen’s iPhone and my Droid. We climbed steps and scaled dunes, passing an amorous couple on a blanket—as well as the path we were looking for--several embarrassing times before we found our way.

Thelma and Louise had morphed quickly into Lucy and Ethel. Maybe we should have used Ricardo or Mertz in Sarento’s a few nights later. Instead, we had a go at my husband’s ruse. He gives the hostess a phony moniker, often using “Kramer” as an homage to Jerry Seinfeld’s fictional, across-the-hall neighbor. But we couldn’t pull it off. When Kristen blurted out “Smith!” at the hostess stand, I started to giggle, telling the two humorless, well-coifed and stylish twenty-somethings managing the table traffic, “We’ve had too much sun.” Like Queen Victoria, they were not amused.

We had a few other Lucy and Ethel moments on Maui. For starters, our five-day gabfest caused us to miss a turn here and there… Our rental car—reminder: NOT a ’66 T-bird—apparently is common enough that we jumped into its twin, Americano and Latte in hand, outside a Starbucks… It probably wouldn’t have hurt to slap an “I brake for rainbows” sticker on our bumper... One of us is more comfortable killing giant cockroaches than the other...Outdoing the bugs were dozens of fist-sized, nocturnal toads sporadically sprinkled along the beach path (ewwww!)… And don’t even get me started on the lizards! We learned it hurts—a lot (very-bad-language a lot)—to wade through shallow water that covers pointy lava rocks… And how many times can someone drop an iPhone, anyway?

Thing is, neither of us is naturally clumsy or ditzy (even though I’m a blonde), especially Kristen. She is a successful entrepreneur, a Harvard grad and a gifted athlete. We come from hardscrabble New England stock. Our mothers—sisters--would never have found themselves in these ridiculous predicaments. It simply wasn’t an option for them. Their generation didn’t “go rogue” on their husbands and children, running off to Hawaii with the girls. To them, such an idea was crazy. Today we know we need these occasional escapes with other women-folk or we’ll go crazy. (And, note to husbands: Our constant banter did NOT disparage you in any way and we, in fact, are so very grateful for your blessings on these diversions of ours.)


In the movie, Thelma and Louise use their wits to stay one step ahead of the law. At one point, a cop says to his partner: “You know, the one thing I can’t figure out? Are these girls real smart or real, real lucky?”

Today, we women need to be smart enough to know when we’ve had enough. We need to take care of ourselves, to refuel and refresh. We need to model it for our daughters and maybe even for our mothers. Going to Hawaii is a fairytale. Sometimes, it’s more realistic to get a pedicure; have a glass of wine or a cup of tea with a girlfriend, a cousin or your sisters; or simply read a book and take a nap. As for Thelma and Louise, they were real smart and real, real lucky.

Kristen and I? We are, too.